Trish Telesco
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
I am just wondering, because I don't know you personally, if you had a wider conversation about why she is pausing potty training? And is she actively ignoring signals, or is she just honestly not seeing them for what they are?I've seen a lot of posts lately about moms, mother-in-laws, being a mom, etc. It's a big topic, but something is in the air. Figure this is a good place we can talk about being a mother, our feelings towards our moms, good / bad experiences with the MIL, and people who "mother" you LOL.
Here's mine for today:
This is a rather mundane rant, but it bothers me spiritually too. I've been a grandmother for 2.5 years now. I love it, but struggle when the DOL gets lazy. For example, the other day I noticed the GD tilting her head and moving toward the bathroom door. I asked P if she wanted to go potty. She shook her head yes and reached for the door. Mom says, "we're pausing potty training" with disdain. I looked at her and said in an upbeat way, "she wants to try, what's the harm?" She knew what to do, didn't mind the adult seat, flushed, and washed her hands...no big deal. I am now the "bad guy" because I recognize signals from the GD that mom ignores. Ok, I have a little psychic twinkle on my side but this is just one of dozens of teachable moments all of which play out the same.
I realize I have to respect boundaries, but my spirit aches for this child. Most of her education thus far has been TV, and for a long while non-verbal cartoons. Then they wonder why she's not speaking much yet. I am fortunate in that I can see what she's saying in her eyes, or she'll just grab my hand and take me where she wants me to be. I don't see this behavior with her mom, and I know it makes my son sad. That child is the only real joy he has in his life.
I think about magic, and feel it may be intrusive. Wondering about making her some type of communication charm to boost the signal to other people ... what do you guys think?
This behaviors you describe reminds me of my ex. Narcissitic and always on eggshells and never doing the right thing, even if it is what he asked for. I agree with what Littles says. You do you, regardless, and be there for your Granddaughter the way she needs and at least she will know she has someone positive in her life that picks up on things and responds accordingly. I had to do that with my ex, which is difficult, but I always tell myself no matter what my ex does, my son, Felix, always has a soft and safe space to land with me. It's scary sometimes when they are out of your sight and you don't know what's going on, but knowing that they always have somewhere safe to be themselves and grow.CMB, I did. She said one day penny didn't want to try, so she stopped training (yes, ONE day). I held my tongue. The problem for me is she keeps ASKING for input, but ignores everything when I give it to her. For example, she has a very shrill voice and a habit of using it a LOT. She asked me to tell her when she did so. I did, and found out she doesn't want to come over for a while because of "negativity." So, I will no longer offer advice, nor give her reminders. It's not worth it. I will simply take myself out of the space, and hopefully, bring Penny with me to another room to do something.
I would never ask my son to cut her out of the family. I've been more a mom to her than her own mother (I was the one with her for over 24 hours at home in labor. Mom was busy with her boyfriend). I just wish she'd be more appreciative of him, and more active with her daughter.
I know the child is an old soul. She'll survive. I'm just not sure I will (lol)
Thanks for letting me vent and ponder.
This is a rather mundane rant, but it bothers me spiritually too. I've been a grandmother for 2.5 years now. I love it, but struggle when the DOL gets lazy. For example, the other day I noticed the GD tilting her head and moving toward the bathroom door. I asked P if she wanted to go potty. She shook her head yes and reached for the door. Mom says, "we're pausing potty training" with disdain.
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