Asking for your positive supportive energy!

[jbhyoga]

Hey wild pack!!

Jacqueline Hepler (or Helper, as Bernadette often reads it in the lives ) here and I wanted to reach out to this community that I love so much to ask for your positive supportive energy.

Without dragging it out too long, I took a part time job position a few months ago - I hadn't been working due to the *you know* - and an opening came up at my fiancés work place. We have such a great relationship & my grandparents had always worked together so I was excited for us to get to experience that.

And honestly, working with him has been amazing. The job itself is simple & easy - and for the most part lets me work independently.

But my fiancé started about a year before me, and when I went with him the first time to meet the manager (a year before I applied for a job) I got the worst gut feeling I've ever had. In fact, I had meltdowns begging him not to take the job. I didn't have any reasoning other than the manager gave me bad vibes. After renegotiating, he ended up taking the job (first time he's had benefits! so it wasn't all bad!)

Fast forward, times are desperate and I need money so I take the job when they offer - even though I still have the negative feelings about the manager.

And I'm sure you all know this, given the nature of this community, but it is SO unlike me to have such a strong repulsion to anyone.

Anyways, I've worked for several months and the only way I know how to describe it is - I can feel my spirit breaking. It's wearing on my heart, mind emotions and body working here. I get sick to my stomach before every shift, I get shaky, I get headaches. My body is having a negative physical reaction to having to be there.

I've talked with my fiancé - and he is very supportive of me doing what I need to for myself.

Part of what has intensified the negative feelings towards my boss is seeing how she talks to and treats others - as someone who has ran my own business for many years and has helped countless others get off the ground - I am appalled at this persons behavior. Instead of quitting, I thought it would be best to change my availability to just weekends - when she doesn't work.

Tomorrow, I am going to request that my schedule is switched to just Saturday & Sundays. This shouldn't be an issue at all, because I've worked every saturday and sunday since I've been there, right? Well after several months, apparently I'm not allowed to work with my fiancé - and he is the only "upper level" staff on saturdays and now its a conflict of interest? I would understand if it had been like that from the get-go, but I have worked every weekend with him. He doesn't think she will approve my new schedule. I'm at the point though, where if they can't accept that - I'm ready to quit.

The thing is, I am ready to get back into my work and whats meaningful to me (which is teaching and sharing yoga with others). But I don't have other sustainable sources of income right now and it's scary. I've spent a lot of the past year working with positive affirmations and trying to heal myself, reminding myself that there's enough for everyone, including me. I am sure this time is part of my path of growth.

On top of all this, we are set to get married 10/15 & I want to be able to enjoy the time leading up to it - and so far I haven't

Anways - if you could just take a moment of your day to send me a little positive, supportive energy I could use it!! I'll be talking to my boss tomorrow about it - thankful its on a heart chakra day!! I'll need the extra love.

So much for a short story, huh? LOL. (including a picture of me and my fiancé for yall!)


***Editing to add, Bernadette took time to hear me out on the live this morning. She helped me get to a place where I could identify what it was that needs healing here - which is my financial situation. She pulled a card - turkey & told the most beautiful story she had heard from an Apache Native American.

 

[Trish Telesco]

I get it. I spent over a year throwing up before work because of the anxiety it was creating. My body was physically trying to expel it. Fast forward, they fired me after 12 years of service because I had tons of sick/vacation time, and split my job between two much younger people. Even seeing the writing on the wall, I kept trudging as the job was good for my family's stability even if it was killing my spirit. I was devastated (Mama Bear helped put my pieces back together). Since then I've stayed in freelance but for a few months at the Y (long story). Could I go back to some kind of office work? Probably but every time I think about it, my stomach churns. So, hon, do what feels right for you. Don't wait until you have no control over the outcome. I believe the Universe may be moving you into a new direction (I could be wrong), and trust this all shakes out for the best possible purpose.

 

[jbhyoga]

I get it. I spent over a year throwing up before work because of the anxiety it was creating. My body was physically trying to expel it. Fast forward, they fired me after 12 years of service because I had tons of sick/vacation time, and split my job between two much younger people. Even seeing the writing on the wall, I kept trudging as the job was good for my family's stability even if it was killing my spirit. I was devastated (Mama Bear helped put my pieces back together). Since then I've stayed in freelance but for a few months at the Y (long story). Could I go back to some kind of office work? Probably but every time I think about it, my stomach churns. So, hon, do what feels right for you. Don't wait until you have no control over the outcome. I believe the Universe may be moving you into a new direction (I could be wrong), and trust this all shakes out for the best possible purpose.

Thank you Trish. I think you are right. I think deep down, I already know the answer I'm looking for. It's just a matter of trusting and having faith. Heart over head.

 

[TPOT]

Hey wild pack!!

Jacqueline Hepler (or Helper, as Bernadette often reads it in the lives ) here and I wanted to reach out to this community that I love so much to ask for your positive supportive energy.

Without dragging it out too long, I took a part time job position a few months ago - I hadn't been working due to the *you know* - and an opening came up at my fiancés work place. We have such a great relationship & my grandparents had always worked together so I was excited for us to get to experience that.

And honestly, working with him has been amazing. The job itself is simple & easy - and for the most part lets me work independently.

But my fiancé started about a year before me, and when I went with him the first time to meet the manager (a year before I applied for a job) I got the worst gut feeling I've ever had. In fact, I had meltdowns begging him not to take the job. I didn't have any reasoning other than the manager gave me bad vibes. After renegotiating, he ended up taking the job (first time he's had benefits! so it wasn't all bad!)

Fast forward, times are desperate and I need money so I take the job when they offer - even though I still have the negative feelings about the manager.

And I'm sure you all know this, given the nature of this community, but it is SO unlike me to have such a strong repulsion to anyone.

Anyways, I've worked for several months and the only way I know how to describe it is - I can feel my spirit breaking. It's wearing on my heart, mind emotions and body working here. I get sick to my stomach before every shift, I get shaky, I get headaches. My body is having a negative physical reaction to having to be there.

I've talked with my fiancé - and he is very supportive of me doing what I need to for myself.

Part of what has intensified the negative feelings towards my boss is seeing how she talks to and treats others - as someone who has ran my own business for many years and has helped countless others get off the ground - I am appalled at this persons behavior. Instead of quitting, I thought it would be best to change my availability to just weekends - when she doesn't work.

Tomorrow, I am going to request that my schedule is switched to just Saturday & Sundays. This shouldn't be an issue at all, because I've worked every saturday and sunday since I've been there, right? Well after several months, apparently I'm not allowed to work with my fiancé - and he is the only "upper level" staff on saturdays and now its a conflict of interest? I would understand if it had been like that from the get-go, but I have worked every weekend with him. He doesn't think she will approve my new schedule. I'm at the point though, where if they can't accept that - I'm ready to quit.

The thing is, I am ready to get back into my work and whats meaningful to me (which is teaching and sharing yoga with others). But I don't have other sustainable sources of income right now and it's scary. I've spent a lot of the past year working with positive affirmations and trying to heal myself, reminding myself that there's enough for everyone, including me. I am sure this time is part of my path of growth.

On top of all this, we are set to get married 10/15 & I want to be able to enjoy the time leading up to it - and so far I haven't

Anways - if you could just take a moment of your day to send me a little positive, supportive energy I could use it!! I'll be talking to my boss tomorrow about it - thankful its on a heart chakra day!! I'll need the extra love.

So much for a short story, huh? LOL. (including a picture of me and my fiancé for yall!)


***Editing to add, Bernadette took time to hear me out on the live this morning. She helped me get to a place where I could identify what it was that needs healing here - which is my financial situation. She pulled a card - turkey & told the most beautiful story she had heard from an Apache Native American.

Hey Jaqueline,
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming Wedding!! Wishing all the best for you two!! Im also glad you got to experience working together w/ your fiancé just like your grandparents did (so sweet) b4 the change in your work environment! It sounds like you already know what you need to do I mean, if it's making you sick, get the heck outta there! No one got time for that, especially an upcoming Bride!! I know your worried about finances, but I'm worried bout your health ❤ Sending you lottsa luv & healing energy for strength & courage✌ You got this, Guuurrll!!

 

[jbhyoga]

Hey Jaqueline,
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming Wedding!! Wishing all the best for you two!! Im also glad you got to experience working together w/ your fiancé just like your grandparents did (so sweet) b4 the change in your work environment! It sounds like you already know what you need to do I mean, if it's making you sick, get the heck outta there! No one got time for that, especially an upcoming Bride!! I know your worried about finances, but I'm worried bout your health ❤ Sending you lottsa luv & healing energy for strength & courage✌ You got this, Guuurrll!!

Thanks TPOT - I think you are right. I really believe health is wealth. Thanks for your words of encouragement

 

[TPOT]

Thanks TPOT - I think you are right. I really believe health is wealth. Thanks for your words of encouragement

You're very welcome! I truly believe that as well!! Hope all "Works" out for you!!

 

[TheLastChanceCrone]

Anways - if you could just take a moment of your day to send me a little positive, supportive energy I could use it!! I'll be talking to my boss tomorrow about it - thankful its on a heart chakra day!! I'll need the extra love.

Positive Supporting Energy - Lots and lots of green (and pink) energy for you.

Happy upcoming wedding and new chapter of life together.

I can totally totally resonate with the feelings. I just left the business I was working on building with someone else who decided in March we're no longer partners, but I was her flunky to do her bidding. I was in a mess.

 

[Pearlized]

Health both mental and physical must come first in every way possible. You also need to be in the best place with yourself for your wedding day.

It sound to me you already know what needs to be done. So do what is best for you all round.

Positive energies for everything going forward.

 

[Lily]

As everyone else has mentioned, listen to your gut and if things feel slimy let it go! It's not work related but I finally had my final falling out with my mother last weekend. She seemingly wants to help but can onl do so in a financial way and then assumes she has control over me because of this "help." Well, I told her right off on Saturday, especially after she tried to guilt me, all of this going on, might I add, in front of my 3yr old son. I noticed her oscillating and going between good cop bad cop and trying to control the situation after I asked her to leave. I had to threaten calling the police about her tresspassing at that point, which upset me, but no. You do not come into my house and tell me what I need to do and then threaten me about it and try to guilt me in front of my son like I'm the one doing anything wrong.
If you feel this in your gut, keep moving. something better will come along if you make the space foe it. Belive. Be like dumbo with his feather....it's not the actual feather that helps; it's the belief that the feather will help that helps! eventually, you won't need the feather. Sorry, don't know why dumbo came to mind, but it is what it is.
Like others before me, I believe you know in your heart what you need to do. Something better is on the horizon for you, I believe. ANd congratulations and best wishes for your marriage!

 

[jbhyoga]

As everyone else has mentioned, listen to your gut and if things feel slimy let it go! It's not work related but I finally had my final falling out with my mother last weekend. She seemingly wants to help but can onl do so in a financial way and then assumes she has control over me because of this "help." Well, I told her right off on Saturday, especially after she tried to guilt me, all of this going on, might I add, in front of my 3yr old son. I noticed her oscillating and going between good cop bad cop and trying to control the situation after I asked her to leave. I had to threaten calling the police about her tresspassing at that point, which upset me, but no. You do not come into my house and tell me what I need to do and then threaten me about it and try to guilt me in front of my son like I'm the one doing anything wrong.
If you feel this in your gut, keep moving. something better will come along if you make the space foe it. Belive. Be like dumbo with his feather....it's not the actual feather that helps; it's the belief that the feather will help that helps! eventually, you won't need the feather. Sorry, don't know why dumbo came to mind, but it is what it is.
Like others before me, I believe you know in your heart what you need to do. Something better is on the horizon for you, I believe. ANd congratulations and best wishes for your marriage!

Omg your message is perfect. Dumbo was my FAVORITE childhood movie and I haven't even thought of it in so many years. I think I am going to put on my feather earrings.

I too, have a difficult situation with my mom, so my heart goes out Lily - and your story gives me insight about my work situation. Being made to feel guilty for not doing a "good enough" job even though I'm the one coming in consistently on my days off / when I'm called in etc...

And I really love that you said to make space for something better. I tend to be over-anxious and like to have a plan A, B, C - Z. So I can see how although I like be open to trusting, I'm not always as willing to follow through with that. I haven't made space for anything better - mostly due to fear. Growing up in poverty, I can easily remember not having food at home, not having heat or air, and those fears run deep. I am in a position where I don't have to worry about that, my fiancé has made enough to take care of both of us throughout the pandemic. I think my personal work might be in working through excavating some of this old garbage so I can make room for better things.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply, I'm choosing to believe something better is on the horizon for me too

 

[jbhyoga]

Health both mental and physical must come first in every way possible. You also need to be in the best place with yourself for your wedding day.

It sound to me you already know what needs to be done. So do what is best for you all round.

Positive energies for everything going forward.

You are right. I tell it to others all the time, and I think the reason I'm reacting this way is because I'm ignoring my own advice.

Thank you - I needed to hear the part about being in the best place for my big day. It helps me put it into better perspective.

 

[jbhyoga]

Positive Supporting Energy - Lots and lots of green (and pink) energy for you.

Happy upcoming wedding and new chapter of life together.

I can totally totally resonate with the feelings. I just left the business I was working on building with someone else who decided in March we're no longer partners, but I was her flunky to do her bidding. I was in a mess.

Yes - might have to wear pink and green undergarments with my uniform LOL!!

Thank you - hoping that the business not working out was a cosmic redirection for you and you are in a good place now

 

[Lily]

You are right. I tell it to others all the time, and I think the reason I'm reacting this way is because I'm ignoring my own advice.

Thank you - I needed to hear the part about being in the best place for my big day. It helps me put it into better perspective.

The best job I ever had, my manager, always told me when I am in a bind or difficult situation, to think of what advice I would give to my own best friend, and then do that. That's one of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten and have tried to instill in my own life.

For reasons I am still working on regarding trusting my own instincts, I have ignored my own advice only to see things come into fruition anyway (I was only dealing with the inevitable with a bigger buildup of catastrophic energy that I tried to avoid but what I tried to ignore only became magnified. I think you have already come to a decision but due to fear have been "putting it off". which is not a judgment at all, just I totally understand the hesitance. I grew up with childhood trauma and have CPTSD so I have been "unlearning" a lot of things. As this transition happens it is, I have found for myself, important to trust your gut, especially when your body responds, to honor yourself and your feelings. I had to start from ground zero at 28yrs old realizing what I thought was real, wasn't. And that I had to re-learn trusting my intuition because that was broken for me as a child.So, I get being scared. I still am with some things. But if your BODY is reacting that way, step away. My body canNOT any longer deal with someone serving me up with bullshit. My body doesn't tolerate it, it's a severly negative reaction where anyone in my way deals with the knife of a gemini tongue, but I have learned to stand up to myself no matter what. I know MY truth and even though others are not open to being honest about things, I know my life and what happened and how to maybe help others. My story needs to be told, in due time. And, when you are ready, you will do what you need to do to move on. It's not about speed or being hasty, but being truly ready to receive the girts of the universe. We are all here to support you in any way you need right now....sending love, healing, keeping your intention...all of the above and more. We are here for you and I feel strongly your Fiance is too.

 

[Lily]

Omg your message is perfect. Dumbo was my FAVORITE childhood movie and I haven't even thought of it in so many years. I think I am going to put on my feather earrings.

I too, have a difficult situation with my mom, so my heart goes out Lily - and your story gives me insight about my work situation. Being made to feel guilty for not doing a "good enough" job even though I'm the one coming in consistently on my days off / when I'm called in etc...

And I really love that you said to make space for something better. I tend to be over-anxious and like to have a plan A, B, C - Z. So I can see how although I like be open to trusting, I'm not always as willing to follow through with that. I haven't made space for anything better - mostly due to fear. Growing up in poverty, I can easily remember not having food at home, not having heat or air, and those fears run deep. I am in a position where I don't have to worry about that, my fiancé has made enough to take care of both of us throughout the pandemic. I think my personal work might be in working through excavating some of this old garbage so I can make room for better things.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply, I'm choosing to believe something better is on the horizon for me too

That's funny...I haven't thought of that movie in ages either....I'm happy you got the reference!

I found a feather the same day my mom came back into my life to get my son an ipad. She said she needed me for "parental controls" which I knew was a lie but being a mom myself it pulled at my heart strings. She just really wanted to see me and my grandson. I "let her back in" for that, and went to get an ipad and some food etc and things were good. This past Saturday I got my second shot of the covid vaccine (don't want to debate that, just facts) and my mom wanted to come and help in case I had side effects. Well, I got the shot and was fine until later that night. but by the time I had gotten the shot then had to wait for 25mins in case I had an allergic reaction, and then gotten home, my mom was in control mode and threatening me about issues that weren't issues....that I agreed with her about. Like...no reason to get that way and she did so I kicked her out. The VERY last thing I said to her as I closed my door was that I loved her, but that I loved me more. And my son.

Back to the feather, the one I found was a guineafowl feather, which has to do with protection of home....I spent and hour, hour and a half on a feather atlas trying to identify the feahter with a bird. ANd then when I looked up the behaviour of those birds and where they lived, it floored me, because I found this feather on the mowed lawn of a house I know where they don't have any sort of birds, chickens or gineafowl when I was walking my son home from daycare

 

[TheLastChanceCrone]

hoping that the business not working out was a cosmic redirection

I am hoping that as well. It appears to be, but at the same time it's a bit sad watching all the work done over the last 7 months removed piece by piece and as if I wasn't involved at all.

 

[Trish Telesco]

You know ... I am seeing "mom" issues pop up all over the place - gonna start a separate thread

 

[Coffeemountainpolarbear]

Listen to your gut. I know everyone has said it a bunch lol. My last job, I worked for two years at the same building. Two different companies. I didn’t listen to my gut when it LOUDLY told me not to get my friend a job there. But I felt bad for her. She’s a single mother who lives at home with her parents who are incredibly wealthy. She doesn’t pay rent but her mat leave was almost up. I told my boss she was looking for a job. She spread rumours about me and started sleeping with one of the security guards who was engaged to someone else. I complained to my boss that they where having relations on company time and property. I even told Hr. I didn’t feel safe at work, he never did his rounds, then I reported some unsafe work and they fired me. Because of bolth things. It the first time I’ve ever been fired. I wish I would have listened to my gut. They had no integrity. My boss said it would be harder to replace my friend. I knew in my gut that the job was stressing me out, I was bored but also didn’t feel safe. I wish I would have listened. Yay tower card! Yay spiritual awakening! Lol I’ve had two interviews and worked two other jobs for 1 day each. But I’m still going to try! Sending good vibes you find something!

 

[DARKSHINEZ]

send me a little positive, supportive energy

Sending all the positive, supportive, loving, abundant + you need each moment ... To your health, wealth and beyond jbhyoga.

 

[Gayle Wyant]

WOW! I got the forum a few minutes ago to this mornings live replay. Which I found out was cancelled and I started to cry because I needed the wild packs energy and mama bears uncanny accuracy and hilarious sense of humor.
Long story short my sister I live with is terminal and took to screaming and throwing things at walls. I left and have to the conclusion that she is right, she has been telling me that I should move on and shouldn't have to be there as she deteriorates and dies. I came to the realization she is right, I can not handle passively watching her deteriorate and die. For my own health I left Sunday. I'm in a hotel because I am too medically fragile myself that this was the best emergency place temporarily. It's paid for until Friday morning check out. I have been contacting resources services etc. I have my moments of sheer panic but over all I have a peace that something even better is coming and that this the best for both of us.

 

[Gayle Wyant]

I was going to say why I am at such serenity. First all of y'all. I really think some of us can sense the family vibe this forum and Mama Bear have become. I have been see bees everywhere since leaving and the symbolism of that is profound to me it is my birth totem animal! Then I saw a crow land in the parking lot this morning and it looked me in the eyes and walked directly towards me while we kept eye contact. Crows are also very significant to me. I know this to will pass but this my 12th bout with homelessness in 7 years. This cannot continue!