TheLastChanceCrone
Well-known member
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2021
- Location
- Ohio
Tonight I said my goodbyes to my brother via a zoom setup. He had a major seizure this morning and lot more damage was done to his brain. He can not breathe now on his own, and they had to put him back on the life support machine.
His body is in agony. The family had a meeting and the decision now is comfort, preparing us for his passing.
I've had two Near death experiences in my adult life, so I know that we are light spirits, and that there is existence past this earthly world. I'm more upset because of how this is affecting my parents, who are in their 80s, my father isn't doing well at all with this. But that's not all of it. I'm upset for so many reasons, and don't really have anyone to help me process the confusion, questions, and the doubts.
My world is having a hard time with this. I can't seem to not question what has happened the last week on a spiritual level. 'Why were we given so many signs......
Last week, my grandmother who has passed - and has visited numerous times to me since she has passed, conveyed to me "Its not his time, but he needs to make a decision".
My friend who I called to help me prepare, who is a Death Doula, called back and said 'What funeral? Its not his time".... (I hadn't talked to her other than I needed her help.)
Many of the family received messages, signs, Don't give up hope, it's not his time, wait... don't give up hope. Visits from Grandma, pointed messages appearing, thoughts out of the blue.....
I've had my angels around me giving comfort to the point my cat is having issues and jumping at the slightest sensation of a being in the space. Feathers have been on the stairs, in the kitchen. I've been feeling the heaviness of this, had many crying fits, but come back to a balance, not the best peace but still a stillness, given that I hadn't given up hope.
This morning, I called my Dad instead of my Mom, since we all call Mom, I knew Dad was hurting hard, I could feel it. Dad's not very good at expressing emotions, and tends to in the past be only able to express anger.....frustration....regret. So when He answered and was crying and said it's not good, handed the phone to my sister I knew things went south.
My brother had taken the turn for the severe worse, where the Drs are clear, he's not going to wake up. My sister explained to me what had happened, and what was going to happen. They were going to set up a zoom for us that did not live in the state so we could spend time to say our final goodbyes.
So when I had my call with him tonight - to at least let me as a spirit see past the body, found he's not in his body, but he is still tethered very lightly to it. He's present in the room and someplace else at the same time. I'm totally confused.
I sorta feel really out of place, part of me is very excited for him, to be at peace, with the Divine, the Universe, to be with friends and family who have passed.
Part of me feels disconnected, like I can't grapple this, almost like dream state but not.
Part of me feels like I should feel more - more aware, more involved in the energy passing.
I did tell him that I respect his decision that he needs to go. I loved him, and that I know he will be going to a much better place.
However as hard as I was crying - there was a part of me that just felt empty, I feel like a fraud. Like my beliefs are a series of delusions. Grasping at thin air.
But I don't know how to process this, going from hope to now having to let go and the passing of a sibling.
His body is in agony. The family had a meeting and the decision now is comfort, preparing us for his passing.
I've had two Near death experiences in my adult life, so I know that we are light spirits, and that there is existence past this earthly world. I'm more upset because of how this is affecting my parents, who are in their 80s, my father isn't doing well at all with this. But that's not all of it. I'm upset for so many reasons, and don't really have anyone to help me process the confusion, questions, and the doubts.
My world is having a hard time with this. I can't seem to not question what has happened the last week on a spiritual level. 'Why were we given so many signs......
Last week, my grandmother who has passed - and has visited numerous times to me since she has passed, conveyed to me "Its not his time, but he needs to make a decision".
My friend who I called to help me prepare, who is a Death Doula, called back and said 'What funeral? Its not his time".... (I hadn't talked to her other than I needed her help.)
Many of the family received messages, signs, Don't give up hope, it's not his time, wait... don't give up hope. Visits from Grandma, pointed messages appearing, thoughts out of the blue.....
I've had my angels around me giving comfort to the point my cat is having issues and jumping at the slightest sensation of a being in the space. Feathers have been on the stairs, in the kitchen. I've been feeling the heaviness of this, had many crying fits, but come back to a balance, not the best peace but still a stillness, given that I hadn't given up hope.
This morning, I called my Dad instead of my Mom, since we all call Mom, I knew Dad was hurting hard, I could feel it. Dad's not very good at expressing emotions, and tends to in the past be only able to express anger.....frustration....regret. So when He answered and was crying and said it's not good, handed the phone to my sister I knew things went south.
My brother had taken the turn for the severe worse, where the Drs are clear, he's not going to wake up. My sister explained to me what had happened, and what was going to happen. They were going to set up a zoom for us that did not live in the state so we could spend time to say our final goodbyes.
So when I had my call with him tonight - to at least let me as a spirit see past the body, found he's not in his body, but he is still tethered very lightly to it. He's present in the room and someplace else at the same time. I'm totally confused.
I sorta feel really out of place, part of me is very excited for him, to be at peace, with the Divine, the Universe, to be with friends and family who have passed.
Part of me feels disconnected, like I can't grapple this, almost like dream state but not.
Part of me feels like I should feel more - more aware, more involved in the energy passing.
I did tell him that I respect his decision that he needs to go. I loved him, and that I know he will be going to a much better place.
However as hard as I was crying - there was a part of me that just felt empty, I feel like a fraud. Like my beliefs are a series of delusions. Grasping at thin air.
But I don't know how to process this, going from hope to now having to let go and the passing of a sibling.
Last edited:
