Ok so July 3rd was the 2nd anniversary of my Dad's passing. It was very hard and it was even harder because my brother and I aren't speaking. His girlfriend (possibly him too) have lied about me, slander, ridiculed and belittled me, tried to get me fired, spoke poorly of my mothering and my children, and more since March. Then the last month in particular have tried to make me feel guilty for not contacting him, although every time they came in where I worked I was friendly and kind not combative and disrespectful. I also never never gave into the bait and did not react negatively like they wanted over the many months. So I couldn't contact my brother who I knew was hurting just as much as I was. To top it off my mom whom I love dearly but has plenty of negative aspects that she doesn't see herself was not the best towards me. She was short, irritated, angry, and more alot of the day. I got engaged to weeks ago this past Saturday and this coming Saturday my kids mother and I are moving to AK so I can be with the love of my life. How do you continue to focus on just the positive when you are wore down, drained, and there is so much negative trying to bring you down? I love my family with a ferocity that I can't even explain and all I want is to tell my brother what's going on especially since he lives one mile away, but my worry is that he will start deflecting and blaming and fighting and more instead of hearing the news and being happy. What does a person do in a situation where they are town in two. Their heart tells them one thing and logic due to past experience tells them another. My mom and my brother they are very different but they are very similar and having one is enough to deal with. I have though I was crazy and cruel many times but I am always sent at least one person to confirm my thoughts on them. So I am not. I'm not one hundred percent sure what I expect from having written this other than I know this is a safe place. Also I feel Stag/deer is wanting my attention. I've seen 5 in the last 48 hours. Anyway thank you for reading my venting. Have a blessed day/week/year 
