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November 1st Start of a New Year for some.

Pearlized

Pearlized

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Location
West Yorkshire UK
For many November the 1st is the start of a New Year. So this morning i thought i would do a 4 cards draw. Past, Present, Future. What i need to know going forward. Things are a little tense here, and i am noticing things that are not as they should be. These little things i have noticed on and off for a while. I dont like what i am seeing, so am CHOOSING to get to the bottom of it all, find out why they are happening and put them right. If possible. So i may mostly seem all love and light online, but the undder current can be pretty dark at times. Which i put a lot down to hubby's PTSD. I can now see @Mama Bear nodding her head. LOL

I still have my Ark cards seperated in the original box. I picked out the standard deck for the first 3, then was going to pick the 4th from the extention deck.

I started shuffling and 4 flipped out face up together. So instead of putting them back and re shuffling I took those as the ones i needed.

Oh my some had obviously got mixed together, so the 4 that flipped out together were 2 Moms & Babies 1 Prehistoric & Mythological and final 1 from the standard deck.

So here they are in order as they came out face up.

Past~~Cheetah

Present~~ Crowned Sifaka

Future~~ Phoenix

Going forward~~Hawk Ace of swords.

So now i dive into what they are telling me. Aswell as what i need to know.

So here goes as i see it all.

Past~~ Cheetah.

Seems here i acted fast with something and made some shrewed decisions. I also knew when i was over extending myself. Being protective and diligence. The power of silence always has been one of my strong points too. Maybe there were times when i should have actually spoken up though.

Present~~ Crowned Sifaka

Ihad to laugh a little at this as Yes Boudries are having to be relaid in many areas. MMM Little conflicts Yes but way too many at the moment, leaping about until one comes out the victor, is more ""Leaping to the wrong interpretation of what has been said"" Mainly happy and content in our own company though. The Leap of Faith is high up right now in one area, as it was mentioned last night, though not in this way, yest described in way that could be taken as ""Just taking that leap.""

Future~~Phoenix

We know the Phoenix rises out of the ashes and yes you coul say i have myself done this 5 times so far in my lifetime. Healing old wounds is an ongoing process especially right now, but with hubby who seems to be letting his old wounds spring up into our lives at the moment. Time to have faith in miracles. Yep i do in lots of ways. I also have a saying that goes ""The Impossible i can do right away. Miracles can take a little longer."" I am one that does not let anything keep me down for very long at all. Rebirth in a way is also part of what is going on right now too. I can take many things from Phoenix, so i will kepp this in mind going forward.


Which brings me to my 4th card for what i need to know going forward.

Going Forward~~ Hawk. Ace of Swords.

So the first thing that actually came to mind here was ""You need to use your Hawk Eyes. You need to see what is actually going on around you, then rise above it all"" Ok then so lets look even deeper into this.

LOL seems i may be correct in my initial thought. Though if what i have been seeing over the past few months is even remotely true. It is not actually a laughing matter. So i need to ""Go higher"" as the Hawk would to see the bigger picture. Timming is the key to this though, that i can see clearly. I could also be way off the mark, so i also need to foucus as i wait and then move swiftly if what i am seeing is true. Trusting my inner guidance or that gut feeling. Being vigilant and paying close attention to all things going on at this moment in time.

So for the Ace of Swords point of view.

MM yep i get this Breakthrough's, Mental clarity, success. Success is there, but may well be challenging and the need to be mentally strong stands out big time. Yea thats nothing new, but still LOL.

Being the Double edge Sword i know all this could go either way. So care MUST be taken in how all this is handled. Like just now as hubby got up almost 3 hours after i did. When he asked why i was up so early. I explained in a way that he did nor feel guilty about it and was not said in a way to MAKE him feel guilty. Yea even though it was him being unsettled that did wake me up.

So there you have it in all its glory. Things to look at with more of a Hawk eye as we rise from the ashes.
 
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Grasshopper said:
Living with someone who has a debilitating issue stresses you to the core of your being. I do not envy you, but your strength and humor are godsends.
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If I may, as someone who currently has a debilitating issue (CPTSD), that goes both ways. There is give and take in any healthy relationship, especially when living together. Not saying anything said was wrong or intentionally hurtful, but it goes both ways; us with PTSD have to give things up and work through things with the non-ptsd people all. the. time. It's stressful and exhausting, yes, but so long as you CHOOSE that person every day you know you can weather any storm. TOGETHER. as equals.
 
Totally understand @Lily We have battled through everything together since 2007.

I dont often say this, but after his highly inteligent Dr turned round and said "" I cannot do anymore than your wife can. She is there almost 24/7 and can step in to help days before i can. SHE is the one to keep trusting to get it right for you ""

So yep Riding that crazy roller coaster, working together as equals through it all. No matter how much we drive each other mad, he knows when it hits the fan, i am there in an instant.
 
Pearlized said:
working together as equals through it all. No matter how much we drive each other mad,
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I am quite envious and you can tell your hubby I said so ...I have disabling CPTSD and when it came to getting the help I desperately needed, my significant other said that it was my problem to deal with, and then she left me. That was in late 1998 and I have been alone and single ever since (24 years).

I know that this type of relationship can be very stressful at times, but all relationships are hard work if you want to have healthy, quality intimacy. So think about it and count your blessings some of us have no one to stand by us the way you have done @Pearlized, for your hubby. I think it is absolutely awesome that you have one another...no matter how you may drive one another mad.
 
Mark Ravenheart said:
I am quite envious and you can tell your hubby I said so ...I have disabling CPTSD and when it came to getting the help I desperately needed, my significant other said that it was my problem to deal with, and then she left me. That was in late 1998 and I have been alone and single ever since (24 years).

I know that this type of relationship can be very stressful at times, but all relationships are hard work if you want to have healthy, quality intimacy. So think about it and count your blessings some of us have no one to stand by us the way you have done @Pearlized, for your hubby. I think it is absolutely awesome that you have one another...no matter how you may drive one another mad.
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No way am i going to pretend it has ever been an easy ride. It has been one hell of a terrifying roller coaster ride from day 1. It took around a year for some proffesionals to listen and take notice. No matter how many times they were asked from just over a year in "" Is this PTSD"" We kept getting "" Well um mm dont really know"" FFS i was asking because no matter how i input the info the answer always came up PTSD. Then he was an utter mess and was seen as an emergency by the mental health team in out nearest A&E. The guy after maybe 10 mins said. "" This is PTSD"" FINALLY we had the answer. Which i had been learning about from some amazing people. {{ You know the website they own }} .

Luckily for us he Trusted ME to get it right for HIM.

Even today there are times when i want to yell, scream and kick walls down out of frustration. But i dont I just walk out and leave him to argue with himself. I dont walk on eggshells and refuse to take his crap.

But Thats ME.

Now its 50/50 to be honest IF wives, husbands and families can stay together. It destroys families and lives. Some CANNOT do what i have done. Some are SCARED to do what i have done.

I will admit i have as much respect for many who leave as i do for those who stay. It takes as much strength to do either.

There are also those who use it as the excuse they have been looking for to leave. It is not for the faint hearted at all. Says me who was a scared little mouse until 2000 when i met him. PTSD INVADED our lives in 2007.
 
I was just trying to say that it must be a blessing to have someone stand by you regardless of having PTSD. I have not known that type of relationship and while I am sure it can be literal hell at times, the rewards are something I can only imagine.

I wanted and needed someone to love me just as I am, but it wasn't to be, and in that respect, tho it is often more than a bit difficult, I can only dream of having that. I guess seen from my point of view I may be romanticizing it, but it is difficult for me not to. At any rate, I wish you two the very best!!! It takes guts and determination to walk a path of healing and that includes relationships such as what you and your hubby have.

Much love,
M Ravenheart
 
I forgot to mention that we did have 7 years together before the PTSD invaded.

It now lives with us for life We do NOT live with it. If you get the meaning of that. We control it as much as possible.

I am honest though when i say I have no idea HOW it would have all turned out if it were not for the PTSD website. The wife {{ Who you know }} of the owner taught me so much in the very begining. Not only how to support him, but to make sure i took care of me too. Carer burnout is real. As is PTSD by proxy. Meaning i could have mirrored some of his issues, by NOT taking care of me. In a way ""Putting my own oxygen mask on BEFORE helping him with his"" So it is her i have to thank in many ways.

If the supporter does not learn this from day 1 They CAN and DO become ill themselves.

Oh and because here its bonfire night my ears are just about done in. He has been twittering ALL DAY because of anxiety. Not knowing IF the noise will effect him or not. It all depends how loud they are and how long they go on for. Earlier did he curse the mechanic working on Charles Lerclercs car. Which i had to agree with. WE were watching first practice for the F1 race in Mexico this weekend. There he was using a ring spanner as a hammer. On Screen in your face abusing tools. Even I know to use the correct tools for the job.

So there you are for today. Next instalment could be in an hour or a month. Who knows what delight PTSD will chuck at us next. As my hubby says ""It is very inteligent. You conquor one issue and he learns a different way to get at you.
 
Grasshopper said:
Living with someone who has a debilitating issue stresses you to the core of your being. I do not envy you, but your strength and humor are godsends.
Click to expand...
Thanks @Grasshopper 1 thing i will say though is . PTSD is not our life. It is something that lives with us. Something that invaded our lives and tried to destroy us.

It can and does wreck families and destroy lives.

In our case IT FAILED. Its a 50/50 thing to be honest.
 
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